Yoruba Nation is not negotiable! ~ by Bayo Oluwasanmi
Predictably, APC won the Ekiti State gubernatorial election. Abiodun Oyebanji garnered 187, 057 votes. As usual, the election wasn’t free from vote-buying, ballot stuffing and snatching, and other surreptitious rigging tactics – the trademark of elections in Nigeria.
It is instructive to emphasize that any election in Yoruba land or Nigeria, in general, would not deter or delay the departure of Yorubas from Nigeria. Yoruba self-determination (Yoruba Nation) is not contingent on the presidential candidates of Alhaji Bola Ahmed Tinubu and Alhaji Abubakar Atiku. Any Yoruba who thinks agitation for Yoruba Nation will go away simply because of Tinubu’s candidacy is living in a fool’s paradise. As far as we are concerned, a cow can be sworn in as the next president of Nigeria. Nigeria is not redeemable. No one can save Nigeria from falling apart. Nigeria is no more a failed state. It’s a collapsed country. In other words, no amount of restructuring can prevent the imminent and inevitable disintegration of Nigeria.
Tinubu lacks the militancy, the radicalism, or the revolutionary fervor that would uproot the old Nigeria for a new Nigeria. His allegiance is to his Fulani political godfathers. He would do all that is possible to please them. For example, Tinubu is too patronizing and subservient to the Fulanis – owners of Nigeria – to radically throw the 1999 Constitution (Nigeria’s apartheid document) into the lagoon and initiate a Constituent Assembly that will draft a new constitution. We cannot and will not sacrifice the Yoruba race and Yoruba Nation for the greedy, selfish, and inordinate ambition of Tinubu.
There can never be real restructuring or true federalism in Nigeria given the super majority of Fulanis in the Senate and the House of Reps. I believe we have passed the negotiating stage for restructuring or true federalism. Restructuring or true federalism is too little, too late. We have gone too far on Yoruba self-determination to go back. After all, we have nothing to lose but our chains of servitude to the Fulanis.
Given the scale and scope of the massacre of Yorubas by Fulani savages, any Yoruba man or woman that continues to advocate for restructuring is a traitor, a betrayer, and indeed an enemy of Yorubas. No one and nothing will send us back to Egypt.
We’re out of the killing jungle!
I’m Not A Campaign Clown, I’ll Deliver What I Promised
The presidential primaries are over. We turn our attention from the much ridiculed speeches during the primaries by the APC and PDP presidential aspirants. It is time for both candidates to start making campaign promises they have no intention of fulfilling.
As usual, most of the campaign promises will be garden variety pandering: electricity 24/7, 400 million jobs, 500 million public housing units, that kind of thing. Of course, some will be truly crazy, outlandish, or bizarre. The candidates’ lunacy will prey on the gullible Nigerian voters.
Although I have never wanted to be president, I’m tempted to run for office just so I could provide a counter-offensive to the campaign clowns of APC and PDP.
Political campaign slogans and promises have proven odd or embarrassing. They are full of puns, rhymes, and catchy phrases to energize the exploited and abused Nigerian people. As a candidate, my campaign hinges on the following 15 promises ever made by a presidential candidate. They will be the priorities of my administration. I’ll deliver on the promises:
15. I will move the Nigerian economy from a cow economy to a rabbit economy.
14. I’ll make disabled Nigerians walk again.
13. No other nation in the world will have better-educated citizens like Nigeria.
12. As president, I’ll veto any bill longer than one page.
11. All National Assembly members must smoke marijuana and cocaine before each session is declared open.
10. I’ll construct a pathway for cows from Daura to Niger, from Niger to Sudan, and from Sudan to Saudi Arabia.
9. I’ll build a wall between River Niger and River Benue to avoid any clash or crisis. Rivers Calabar and Ogun will pay for the construction.
8. I will appoint General Muhammadu Buhari as the Chief Justice of the federation based on his knowledge, understanding, and experience of Sharia law, constitutional law on nepotism, ethnic cleansing, terrorism, and other barbaric acts.
7. I’ll unite Boko Haram, ISIS, ISWAP, and Fulani terrorists. They will be allowed to run for any public office.
6. I’ll outlaw Amala and Abula in the southwest, Fura and Nunu in the north, and Edikaikong in the East.
5. I promise to change Nigeria’s name to Sodom and Gomorrah.
4. I will create a ministry of embezzlement and looting.
3. Nigeria will become the world’s largest producer of Kulikuli and Kilishi.
2. I’ll eliminate NNPC, EFCC, all primary and secondary schools and all universities in Nigeria.
1. I’ll withdraw all Nigerian troops from Ukraine.
Some of the promises may sound a little believable, but others sound believable enough to be elected the next president of Nigeria. I’m not like the APC and PDP candidates, the campaign clowns. I’ll deliver what I promised.
Bayo Oluwasanmi; firstname.lastname@example.org