My predictions for the country of Mumusville in 2023 ~ by Bayo Oluwasanmi
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To my friend BJ:
Congratulations!
We made it to 2023. We’re done with 2022. Finished. Gone. A new year always means new hope. So, in the spirit of Nostradamus, I offer to you my humble predictions for Mumusville in 2023. No one knows what the future holds. But some people have a pretty good idea.
It is the custom and tradition of prophets, seers, palm readers, and occultists in Mumusville to prophesy every new year for Mumusville. Most, if not all their predictions fall hilariously short. Like many years past, the odds are stacked against Mumusvillians. More than any time in the history of Mumusville, the last eight years felt like years of scam. The unimaginable things that happened in Mumusville in 2022 were like watching a car wreck in slow motion: you can’t look away.
Mumusvillians of all political shades believe that the prime minister of Mumusville is not only a bad leader, but the worst in history. Mumusville is in a foul mood. Just yesterday, one day after the new year, the newly crowned Emperor of Mumusville was dethroned in a bloodless noon-day coup. Preparations are in high gear to choose a new Emperor. The number of candidates vying for Emperor grows by the day. As at last count, 36 Mumusvillians are in the race.
My predictions for Mumusville in 2023:
1. Mumusville will crown 120-year-old Baba Antelope Tiger (BAT) as Emperor of Mumusville.
2. Mumusville will create 200 million jobs by April.
3. Mumusville first National Asylum opens in May.
4. By June, the Supreme Court of Mumusville will decide on a murder case adjourned 125 years ago.
5. All schools in Mumusville- elementary, secondary, and universities- will be demolished to make way for mosques and churches.
6. Mumusville will be the next soccer World Cup champion.
7. Mumusville will host the next summer Olympics.
8. Mumusville will be the first country in the world to establish Open University for Cows in 2024.
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9. Mumusville will supply electricity to the rest of the world in 2026.
10. Mumusville will develop the world’s first vaccine for corruption, nepotism, stupidity, and foolishness.
BJ, I look forward to hosting you in Mumusville in the summer when we will talk and laugh and time will stand for a little while.
Until next time…
Be safe and God bless!
Warmly,
JB.
