Domestic Violence: My ex-husband flogged me with belt despite my caesarean-section wound, woman narrates
By Kalu Nwokoro Idika
Since the unfortunate death of gospel artiste, Osinachi Nwachukwu who reportedly died due to the constant abuse she suffered from her husband, Peter Nwachukwu, more women who survived domestic violence are becoming very bold to speak up and share their sad experiences.
A Facebooker identified as Ugonna Enyinnaya Joshua however, has recounted how she was beaten by her estranged husband despite the caesarean-section wound she had during the time of the abuse.
According to her, before the domestic abuse started, the ex-husband completely isolated her from her family. Both the sisters and mother were banned from visiting their home.
She said, “I watched the video of Osinachi’s Mum and siblings recounting how their daughter was abused by her husband. I can truly relate. The first thing an abuser does is to isolate you from family and loved ones. When I was married the mental, emotional and spiritual abuse came before the physical abuse.
“I was isolated from family. My sisters and my Mum were banned from visiting me. My only company became my baby and my nanny. They accused me of witchcraft. He said my family wanted to harm him therefore they were not allowed to visit our home. I would sneak out to travel to Umuahia from port harcourt to visit my mother and claim that I went to the market.
“We lived in close proximity to his family. He would return from work and go to his parent’s house to eat and chat only to come home to sleep. He would not talk to me. He would not eat anything I cooked. Once he told me he hated me. They told him I wanted to kill him. How could I want to kill the father of my child?
“My mum came for omugwo and throughout her stay he did not eat anything she cooked. My mother was treated like a nobody in my home. She endured the disrespect because of me and my baby. I was a lawyer yet I was subdued and intimidated in my house. I stayed because “God hates divorce “. I was ostracized. I would greet my parents in law and they would ignore me. Nobody in the family would talk to me. I was completely ignored and snubbed. My mother in law once told me I was a nobody and started asking her son where he picked me from.
“Daily I would call my mother crying and telling her how this family was treating me. Funny thing was some people used to envy me.. “lucky you, your husband is a Shell staff”.. little did they know that I was suffering.
“June 19, 2007 would remain evergreen in my mind. The husband came home from work and we got into an argument. He went into the room, pulled a belt and began to flog me. Notwithstanding that my c-section wound was still healing. I was wearing a wrap skirt. My wrap came undone and I could not run out because I was naked. I screamed and screamed but no one came to my rescue. His siblings and his parents were in the house but no one came to stop him. The next morning my parents in law said some one dropped voodoo in family compound and that I was the suspect.
“That morning as soon as he left for work I packed my things and strapped my baby in a carrier strapped him on my chest and walked. With tears streaming down my face I just walked. I didn’t know what my next steps would be but I knew if I wanted to live this was the only way.
“The husband never came to find us. Your wife left with your baby and for all he cared we could be lying dead in a ditch. He never contacted my family to even find out where we were. For the first time it dawned on me that this man didn’t really want me.
“A couple of months later I moved to the US to study. I came to the US with a dream while nursing my broken heart. I would cry myself to school every day in the cold New York weather. I didn’t know how I was going to survive without my husband. This man was my all in all. In fact he told me I would never succeed or survive without his financial support.
“Hmm.. I have not only survived, I am thriving and I think I am successful.
“Ps: Please do not type “it is well” or “ God will judge” comment. I didn’t share this story for pity. I am good. Watching the video of Osinachi’s mum and siblings made me want to share. If you know any Osinachi out there, any woman living in an abusive marriage you can encourage them with my story. I was afraid to leave but I did it anyway. I am alive to fulfill my destiny. Osinachi was not that lucky and I beg you to please look at how my story turned out. Yours can turn out good too if you can just overcome the fear and walk….”