This week a Swedish councillor proposed that we should all be having sex breaks. Meaning one hour breaks from work in which you can feel free to head home or stick around in the office and have brilliant sex.
As someone who’s previously explored the many benefits of wanking at work and masturbated in my office for a week, it probably isn’t that surprising that I’m all for the idea of sex breaks.
Just like masturbation breaks, taking time to leave your desk and have sex would be a great way to relieve stress, increase focus, and make workers happier – and, as a result, better at their jobs.
Orgasms are good for you. They make you happier, healthier, and generally take you closer to being your best self.
At work, that can only be a good thing. Happy workers are productive workers, right?
I get why people might be a little freaked out by the idea of their coworkers running off for a quick bang sesh. But that’s something I reckon we should change.
I’m tired of the fact that when we’re at work, we pretend to be work-focused machines that don’t have human needs or a life outside of work.
We pretend that we don’t fancy our coworkers, because that would be inappropriate. We pretend we’re not exhausted after getting hardly any sleep. We agree to stay late because we don’t want to admit that actually, while we don’t have concrete plans, we’d quite like to go home and eat a giant bag of tortilla chips in front of the TV.
When it comes to sex, this goes further than the office.
We try to stay as silent as possible when we’re having sex and our housemates are home. We’re embarrassed of buying condoms. If we’re asked what we did last night, we’d never say that we spent a few hours engaged in some intensely passionate love-making involving a blindfold and The Weeknd playing in the background.*
*His music, I mean. He’s not literally there in the bedroom. I’m not that cool.
For some reason, even when we’re proper adults, we’re still set on pretending that we’re not sexual beings. Which is really bloody weird.
We all have sexual needs. We all do sexual stuff. Why are we acting like it’s a big secret?
But even if you’re not on board with my personal mission to make everyone talk about sex, you should be on board with the concept of sex breaks.
Why? Because the way we’re currently working is ruining our lives.
Unless you work in one of those ‘cool’ offices with bean bags and free snacks, you’re probably working in a culture that encourages you to stay late, eat your lunch at your desk, and always be on email alert in case anyone needs anything.